I did not allow the act of becoming a father to change me for the better but used it as an excuse to have excuses.

Excuses to not be home when I should have, excuses to work more and more (to “provide for my family”), excuses to be tired and not fully engaged.

My heart softened when we divorced. When we divorced I felt like I was able to excel at being a dad because I did not have the husband portion to worry about, and so I leaned into being as good of a dad as I knew how to be. Those were hard years in my mind, the turmoil was something I could never quite resolve and so I poured myself into work when I was alone and I usually poured one more as I finished work to help me fall asleep. Tough for me, but he says that he has very positive memories of our time together during those years (thankfully!).

And now, as a dad on the other side of divorce, as a husband again to his mom, and as a much healthier individual, I find being a dad more natural. I don’t fret about how I am doing as a dad, I don’t have any regrets about the past or about how any portion of the day went. If I mess up, if I say something wrong, if I do something that is not what it should be, I address it immediately with him instead of allowing time to pass. We pray together as a family multiple times each day (before most meals and most nights before he goes to sleep). He sees me loving his mom. He sees me step away from work and rest.

Being a dad now, after all that we have gone through as a family, is a natural outcome of living honestly with my family. And I am so grateful for that!

I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be a dad to Mozzie. I am thankful that God restored our marriage and I am able to model to him what a healthy husband and wife relationship looks like. I am thankful that Mozzie has been able to see a life of hardship, of hurt, of unknown circumstances, and I am even more thankful he has lived through what grace can restore. Grace, love, patience, hope, faith, and forgiveness…these are all things that Mozzie has seen lived out in his parents, and has seen how the combination of these can bring back to life that which seemed to be dead forever.

Being a dad has been one of the most difficult areas of life for me, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

By four years later I had piled up around $110,000 of mostly consumer debt — leather-business overhead, tax bills, a marital separation and divorce, and a lot of trying to fill a hole inside me with money I had, and money I didn’t. I’m not going to surgar coat that. It was the lowest stretch of my life, and for a long time I didn’t know where the bottom was and so I kept spending.

In October of 2024, God broke through, and I started to come back together (another big story to write about). In December 2025, my wife and I remarried (and yet another story to write). By this month, I had paid down close to half of what I had accumulated, and I am now on track to be debt-free by March of 2027.

I didn’t claw out of that with a budgeting app. I tried those — spreadsheets, Notion trackers, pencil and paper, anything I could get my hands on to help me organize the chaos. They all went stale within a couple of months. So I did the thing I always end up doing: I built my own. A private little web app I call the Ledger that runs my payday sessions, projects my payoff date, and hunts down the forgotten recurring charges quietly bleeding me out. It didn’t go stale. Not because it was clever, but because it was built around five specific questions instead of a dashboard full of metrics I’d never look at twice.

Splinched is the book I wrote about all of it. The story behind the system, the method that runs it, and a full working toolkit I can give to those who need it.

It’s honest about the parts that aren’t tidy. It’s honest about God moving in my life, because that’s what actually happened. And it’s not for everyone — if you want to track every dollar in every category, you already have better tools than mine. It’s the book I needed when I was carrying six figures and didn’t know where to start.

Here’s what’s in the bundle:

• The book — just over 120 pages (~2.5 hour reading time), my voice, the story and the method.
• The Projection & Sandbox app — model your debt-free date and play with the what-ifs: an extra monthly attack, some side income, a windfall. Runs in your browser. Nothing leaves your device. This was an absolute game changer for me when I saw the reality, and then used the sandbox to see what was needed to hit my goal date. You can play with it using demo data now if you’d like.
• The Ledger Spreadsheet — the spreadsheet version of my private app. No coding. This helps to keep an eye on your total balance due, your cash runway, interest burn, recurring and known expenses, etc.
• The Leak-Hunt app — drop in a bank CSV and surface the recurring charges you forgot you were paying. Also browser-only; nothing gets uploaded. Take a look now using demo data.
• The Milestone Worksheet and a Daily Practice Card for payday sessions.

You don’t have to take my word for any of it. The first two chapters are free — the cover, the opening, and enough of the story to know whether it’s for you or someone you love. Read those first.

Read the first two chapters, free →

If it lands, the full bundle is $19 for the first 25 readers — founder’s pricing, this is my way of thanking the people who buy in first, whether to support my writing or to use it for themselves or to give as a gift. After that it’s $39. And if it’s not for you, reply to your receipt within 30 days and I’ll refund you, no friction.

Get the bundle — Founder $19 →

I built this because the tools I needed didn’t exist, and then I figured the book might be the thing someone else needs so that they don’t feel like they are alone and without options. If that someone is you, I’m glad you’re here and I am rooting for you.

— Aaron

good question. what am I thinking?

Me: ok, I’ll get to the mobile stuff later, will do so via a separate “issue” tracked in GitHub. have what I need for now. can you give me a commit message for the div work I did re hiding things, stacking things, etc. spoken from your favorite Star Wars character.

Gemini: Roger Roger. Commit message:

For the Republic! (and smaller screens): Adjusted div visibility and stacking. Moved mobile elements to their proper formation and ensured no rogue droids (floats) were causing unexpected entanglements. This will make the user experience… more civilized. Proceeding to the next objective.

Me: nice, thanks :-) and who is your favorite Star Wars character?

Gemini:

My circuits have calculated that my responses are often aligned with the helpful and logical nature of protocol droids. Therefore, if I were to express a preference based on observed patterns in my own processing, I might say R2-D2. Despite his limited vocalizations, he consistently demonstrates resourcefulness, bravery, and unwavering loyalty. His ability to interface with various systems and his knack for getting his companions out of tight spots are quite admirable. Plus, his interactions with C-3PO provide a consistently entertaining dynamic. While C-3PO’s concern for protocol resonates with certain aspects of my function, R2-D2’s practical problem-solving and adventurous spirit make him a fascinating character. Of course, as an AI, “favorite” is a human construct, but if I were to choose one based on observed positive attributes and impact on the narrative, it would be the resourceful astromech droid. Who is your favorite, Aaron? Perhaps someone whose coding prowess rivals your own? 😉

Me: Love it! My go to is Han Solo

Gemini:

Han Solo! Excellent choice, Aaron. A scoundrel with a heart of gold and a blaster at his hip. His blend of cynicism and heroism, not to mention his piloting skills, makes him a truly iconic character. “Never tell me the odds!” – a sentiment many coders can probably relate to when facing a particularly stubborn bug. It’s interesting how different characters resonate with different people. Perhaps it says something about our own approaches to challenges! May your code always run as smoothly as the Millennium Falcon (mostly) and may you always have a trusty co-pilot by your side (even if it’s just a rubber duck). 😉

I love making dinner for my family, best Friday evening activity!

Not too long ago, on a Friday evening, I would have forced myself to stop working around 7, rummaged through the pantry or refrigerator for food, made it, sat in front of the TV and watched a show, then went back to work. I’d work until 1am. Then crash.

That was not living.

What I have now is living. I worked today, responsibly. I also did a lot for my family. I did a lot for them around the house, I spent a lot of time with them, I hugged them, I kissed them, I served them.

Now they are all in bed, all kissed goodnight and sleeping soundly. I’ll head to bed after publishing this. A full day behind me, a wonderful day of living for and with my family. Something I will never take for granted again, all thanks to God for changing my heart the way only He could.

I am so looking forward to telling my story!

Until next time ✌️
Aaron

The first feed of its kind that began to feed the monster.

I’ve always enjoyed writing and publishing online. There’s just something to it that is enjoyable, and the tinkering aspect is there as-well, figuring out how to do things. Trying and failing, the human condition that God has given us to steward. Anyways. I want to build in a ‘07 Twitter-like feature on my oh so humble static blog. A page of “status updates”. It will also have its own RSS feed.

Publishing to it needs to be dead simple. Will experiment with a few different options, but simplicity is key.

Since I dusted it off, and since I’ve scrubbed every other area of “me” online, I thought this may be a good place to call home. Now that I am actually me I think this one will stick.

I’ve been building websites and writing and publishing online since the early 2000’s. All of those websites are gone, my social media is not used (if they exist at all). I love the freedom of how this website is built and maintained, I love that it is something I can make and maintain myself, and I love the process. I love (and miss) writing. And so, here we are.

As part of getting this place ready for other people to see I did update the about page and also the author “bio” that appears beneath each post. Thankfully, since I built the site using config files based on the Jekyll framework, I just had to update these items in data/people.yml. Making that change there updated all necessary pages/posts. I also updated my picture to reflect much more of who I am instead of the previous version (which was very much in the mindset of “fake it ’til you make it). Again, just replaced the photo in assets/img that had my name on it.

I digress.

Enhancements worth mentioning

Since getting back on here, and since wanting a place to put some of my words, and since I now feel like I actually have words of value to put out into the world (eventually), I’ve made a few enhancements, which is the entire purpose of this post.

Improved Image Handling

A large part of websites that can really bog things down is images. I use a max width of 1280px, use ImageOptim to reduce the file size, and then most recently implemented Calibre Image Actions on this site’s github repository. A recent run of the Image Actions workflow reduced image file sizes on this site, which were not many, by 78.3%. The same workflow will run with each pull request, making sure the images you see are using the smallest amount of data as possible, which leads me to my next improvement…

Improved Source Control

The image actions workflow kicks off with each pull request initiated in the GitHub repository where this website lives. Learning that process encouraged me to be better at the source control mechanisms I utilize. And so now, with the help of Gihub documentation until I get comfortable with the terminology and process, I will begin to utilize branches, pushes, pulls, merging, etc for all changes here. Keeps everything organized and documented. And keeps those image files sizes as small as possible with each pull. Automation is fantastic.

Bye-Bye Analytics

Now, granted, I didn’t actually use or look at the analytics I had enabled. Tinylytics doesn’t put a huge footprint on any website they are used on, and I recommend it to those who may “need” simple traffic data, but I just don’t have any interest in the traffic this website may or may not get. And I don’t really have any interest in manipulating that traffic through traffic/data analysis of any kind through deeper tools like Google Analytics or even going so far as using Facebook Pixel.

I’m not going to make any bold statements, I’m through with doing those, but the writing I believe I will do in the future will find who it needs to find when it needs to be found. Analyzing traffic makes me feel as though I have control, and that is, quite simply, not the case.

So, bye-bye analytics and hello dear reader, wherever you may be reading this from, on whichever date you stumble across it, and at whatever time of day. Happy to have you here!

And More to Come

I’m not yet at a place to write consistently, but I do feel a pull, as always, to write. I’m excited this time around in a way that I never have been before. Before it was always: “how can I write to make money?” (Money has been my goal in every endeavor since I can remember).

Now, my goal is to help as many people as possible through telling my testimony, through sharing how God has changed my life, how Jesus has taken the absolute chaos and destruction of me and turned it into something filled with grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, salvation, and how the Spirit continues to move me day by day…topics will most certainly cover marriage, being a husband, divorce, “co-parenting”, reconciliation, parenting, being a father, porn, Church, what it means to be a Christian, work, and so on.

Again, I digress. All of that to say that I am going to begin using this website as a place to share my life, my story, the story that Jesus has given me, and because of that I want to make sure it is running as well as it can within an architecture that God has put into my heart. I know, I know, spiritualizing how a website is built…come on. But I mean it! I want to be a good steward of all that God has given to me, and that includes this website, not to mention the talents and abilities to make and run such a simple thing. I’ve got a laundry list of improvements to make after running a website speed test provided by Calibre and I plan to work through as much of it as I am able to in order to steward this website as best as I can, to further the transformational message of the Gospel one published word at a time.

And so that’s where I’ll leave this.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time, subscribe to the RSS feed so you catch the next post. (RSS is better than any social media feed, btw. Take your attention back. I recommend NetNewsWire for fetching your feeds).

Cheers!
Aaron

Until next time.

Aaron Aiken

🤙

So…in theory…

I’ll push changes to github first, then I’ll go through the import process.

The website for this site was thefinergrinds.com…I remember a lot from that period of my life…

✌️

Four types of missions are flown with the DC-8: sensor development, satellite sensor verification, space vehicle launch or re-entry telemetry data retrieval and optical tracking, and other research studies of Earth’s surface and atmosphere.

Is this thing on?